Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Time Flies When You're Rich and Powerful

BradDad caught meningitis two weeks ago. I wonder if it has anything to do with Zahara and the other stuff we brought home from Africa. A nice man named Shaka gave me a healing stick that I have been whacking BradDad in the bum with (Ed. Note: Master Maddox's English could be presented in a grammatically correct manner, but I have vowed on Queen Jolie's decree to represent the young master's verbiage exactly as it is stated. I have tried to explain that one should never end a sentence with a preposition, but for now, we are working on toilet training. One skill at a time, I presume). It's been a little while since I've posted, but I have been really, really busy. I'm painting again, which has taken a great weight off of my shoulders; being a creative individual can sometimes burden the soul in inexplicable ways.

Now that BradDad and Ange are really serious, I have to tell him about my REAL step-dad Billy. Below you will see a loving picture that I took of Ange and Billy in happier times. Billy liked me, in fact, he recently contacted my agent in regard to a small role in The Bad News Bears. BradDad is the best, though. YEAH! I LOVE HIM!!!

My birthday is soon. I will be four years old. That's really old. I will be witnessing my second leap year of life, and it will be fun. I will leap like a frog. Ribbit! Right now I'm three and eleven-twelfths and it's the pits. Worthington has my stallion saddled, and I need to ride. Cheers!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Zahara Marley & The Wailers

I've been crying a lot. A lot a lot a lot. I love my new sister. I love her because I have to. But I liked being the only one! I can't believe it. I thought I was going to be the apple of Ange's eye forever. I watched BradDad kiss Ange and buy me stuff and live with us in the castle, but he's my BradDad, so I guess it's OK. But now? MY SISTER? Zahara Marley Jolie. It has a nice ring to it, like when I take my blocks and throw them at Worthington's head.

Dr. Van Dostrand told me that it's o.k. to have bad feelings. He has a really comfortable couch that I lie on and tell him stuff. He used to ask me about BradDad, and other stuff like what my favorite color is. He's been asking me about Zahara and what it's going to be like now that I have to give her three of my rooms. Dr. VD taught me about the word "compromise." He told me I was going to have "compromise" with Zahara and share and not cry and kiss her and be nice and pet her and not push her down the spiral stairs or run over her with my dirtbike and and and ... whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Chankrisna likes to dry my eyes and sing "When You Wish Upon A Star" in Cambodian to me when I get sad. She reminded me about the new friend that I was going to have, a new partner. I told her that I thought I was going to get a boy, someone who likes to beat people up and play with swords. But she said sometimes in life we have to "compromise." I asked her if VD told her about that. She got really red, which is hard to do when your skin isn't creamy, dreamy, milky white like Ange and BradDad. She asked how I knew about VD and if I was going through her drawers and reading her tests. I told her that I didn't know how to read, and why would she be taking tests if she wasn't in school? Then I told her VD isn't bad, and that she should lie down on a big, soft couch.

Mr. Geldof told me that Ange and BradDad were true heroes for saving my sister. He even said there is a whole song about it that I should learn to sing. I can bring it to school he said. I told him I'm not going to school. I'm going to work in Africa with Ange. Maybe BradDad could come, too. We're going to make sure that they are all happy so I don't get any more brothers or sisters.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Dirty Blondes and Dirty Bikes

BradDad's head itches a lot. He told me so. He told me I should never make my hair yellow. But Ange makes my hair all different colors, because she told me that all colors are equal. I don't know what they equal but Worthington told me that was true. Except in places like Africa, where mommy works. My favorite color is blue. But, sometimes my favorite color is grey, because BradDad bought me six grey bunnies from the pet shop. I've named all of them, but Ange told me I should name two of them Billy Bob and Johnny Lee, because those are good country names for animals that belong in cages and aren't smart at all.

BradDad let Ange let me on my dirtbike. It's not like BradDad's bike but it makes the same kinds of noises. It's really loud and BradDad told me that I have to ride it without a shirt on or else it doesn't work as good. Ange has a bike also, but she doesn't like it as much except when she acts like she is Tomb Raider. I really want BradDad to stay with us in the main castle in my room with the bunnies. He helps me feed them and everything. I really have a fun life and I like cake. I want a banana. Cheers!